I have hit the ground running in Barcelona, Spain. The weather has turned very beautiful and as much as I love working I could easily just be a tourist and travel loving the plain in Spain mainly because there is no rain. But alas…work is calling, so I will have to get back to it. Know I am doing well meeting new people and spreading the HEALING message of love and light. Love, David

Be willing to be surprised beyond your fears and expectations.

The only way you can create change in your experience is to let go of the known result, experience and expectation. To move through the discomfort of not knowing into the trusting of a new outcome takes discipline. If you are tethered by the familiar and live based on what you carry from the past most of your realities will stay the same. Changing your reality will consistently bring confrontation within you to let go of control. The willingness to face the unknown and be uncomfortable generally determines the amount of change we are able to create. The developmental test within the individual is how are you going to experience change? Blood, sweat and tears? Or are you willing to anchor deep into the soil of Mother Earth and remain in a place of self-love during the changes in your life, facing the most unknown conditions and future? Are you willing to play, let go of control and make a new day? Are you willing to shock yourself with your choices to love and exchange of this love - and are you willing to embrace discomfort?

If you are willing to let go of control, to play and have fun through the unknown, then the magic of the Universe is yours. It is that simple. The power of creation flows as we let go and hold the innocence of love through our experience. It is necessary to let go of thoughts, things, as well as people when we are working with the Universal properties of love. The tests around boundary, agreement and relationship will be tested, until it is not. You have to be willing to lose it, to really have it.

We are forging ahead into a new time here on planet earth. People are being forced to change more than they are comfortable and ironically most are seeking comfort as opposed to change. Be willing to be uncomfortable, face change with anticipation, and love it for all it creates in you. “Let go and let it flow!” Be willing for miracles to surprise you.
Love, David

I am driving my mom to KY from NM today. Hitting it early, hoping for decent weather. Wish me well…love, David

Just how sensitive, connected and aware can us humans be of each other? How aware can we be and not be pulled on and effected by others’ thoughts, intentions or projections? Are you too sensitive for your own good? You may be if you are not rooted in self-love, you will need to multiply the love flowing through you to stay clear, clean and balanced. The more Universal love and light you bring through the more it is going to illuminate the darker aspects in others. The more sensitive you are to the frequency of all the stardust in the Universe the more resonant you will be to the purpose of creation. We are all one in a spiraling soup of light and darkness. If we look at light or stardust as a collection of like-frequencies not always in agreement but held together by some pact to travel through space and time together, it’s not unlike how us human’s journey through life dancing, bumping, falling and rising together, rarely understanding what has brought us all together. Rarely understanding why we are drawn to or repulsed by one another.

To master the journey with your light and darkness - consciousness and unconsciousness - life and death - love and no love - starlight and space…we have to move into the oneness where love of self becomes our tuning fork. Where self-love brings balance and understanding of our inter-connectedness to all things. There is no disregarding something or someone because they repulse us, there is no blocking out someone because their energy is bad or they are extreme, aggressive, addicted, egotistical or stubborn. Rather we empower our experience to be perpetual love and starlight by remaining in a peacefully co-existing state of self-love in the face of any darkness. In this choice we become the light for others to see.

So, how do I maintain this homeostasis of love when others are threatened by my light? I keep loving anyway. How do I stay balanced when I feel psychic daggers piercing my side? I keep loving anyway. “Psychic daggers” sounds kind of dramatic and I have felt this before but do they lessen my choice to love? Pain is an interesting teacher, a struggle to maintain one’s life force is an interesting teacher…how do you navigate all the realms of awareness and maintain your health and well-being?

My exploration into this always brings me back to self-love. It is my anchor point for conscious choice and experience. If I am loving to myself in the face of all darkness there is no evil. If I am loving to myself and freely exchange this love to all things in the Universe I am liberated beyond this earth plane reality. I am free to roam the cosmos remembering my travels on the solar winds before solidifying into this physical experience of human reality. The more love I can multiply into this flesh and blood existence the more I can remember the spiral of love that created this Universe long ago. I can merge peacefully with this wisdom knowing that “I too will be free one day” to travel again as starlight through the Universe carrying a message of love for all of creation.

The philosophical conclusion is: I rise above all tests of human reality or karma by remaining a constant beam of eternal light flowing through my heart. No matter how powerful any psychic energy - I am the controller of my destiny to always choose self-love as my reality. There is no drama, gossip, attack or distraction strong enough to warrant me leaving self-love. Nothing is truly that interesting. I am starlight. I have remembered coming into my mother’s belly as a burning star of light, nothing human can compare to that memory. No psychic energy can distort what I felt when I was shown how I traveled here. That ball of light is still present in my heart and I will continue to teach the importance of the awareness of this light as self-love until I leave this body…until then, I am committed to having as much fun as possible and to share the light. Onward! LOVE, David

There are more and more comments coming in about doing the first exercise on self-love. Yes, I know in the heading I put self=love, why not? Or is it self+love? Self x love? As these comments are coming in many are saying, “I have done exercise one, now what do I do?” Even some have finished the book and report they have done all the exercises, now what? The answer I propose is not around an instant miracle cure. Self-love is a constant. It’s not a one-time work through exercise. The exercises are to get the reader to examine more deeply where they are with self-love, exchange, discipline, etc…The whole book is a process that I see being repeated and worked more deeply into as you change and grow.

But let me go back to the heading of this post, “Self=love as a meditation” I am talking about consciousness not intellect, not…”I’m going to consume this so I can move on to the next thing in my busy life.” Self-love is a conscious choice. It is about knowing yourself so well that you feel love flowing through your heart and being - constantly. It is a choice to be experiencing life through the heart and the discipline to be able to be balanced there - no matter the test from emotional, mental or psychic pulls of others. No matter the test from emotional, mental or psychic pulls from unseen forces, or from your unconscious.

In the development of yourself you have to be willing to examine all the ways you abandon ship around self-love. When you get this the negative aspects of being human will no longer control and dominate you. In other words you will not be so extreme, aggressive, addicted, egotistic or stubborn. Nothing will threaten your survival because you will be connected to the Universal flow of energy, which is endless and bountiful. In this energetic flow you will be connected to an understanding of self-love that is endless and bountiful. It will liberate your mind and provide contentment.

Prerequisite: You have to be able to feel the flow of energy from the heart. Self-love.

If you cannot do this you will continue to feel stuck and be driven by the ego. This does not mean you are bad, it just means you are typical, average, right along with most of the others. I’m not saying I have it mastered, however I will claim to feel the energy of my heart most of the time. When I do not I am one choice away from that feeling. My meditation of life is self=love and being in that place of contentment and the resulting connection with all things. It works and it creates an exceptionally magical, intuitive and creative experience of life. I encourage you to dig deeper, examine yourself and exchange this self-love with everything. Let’s Go! Love, David

A friend who I have known for much of my life called me recently. The last time I heard from her was after my first book came out. She congratulated me and stated she had been jealous of me writing these books. I was fairly quiet letting her get it all out and she went on to say she felt like she was always supposed to be the writer in the friendship. I couldn’t suppress the laughter anymore and explained to her that there were enough stories in the Universe for all of us. She didn’t find my answer too funny and I went on to say, “Our creativity is free. Our expression and the telling of our stories is up to each of us. No one has the license to monopolize who writes them.” She persisted a little longer saying there were elements of my stories that were similar to hers and now she couldn’t tell hers. I patiently explained to her that her story was her own as mine is mine and that there is room for us all.

For the sake of our history I excavated a little deeper. I asked her how she was doing with her drinking? I was met with dead silence. I told her the alcohol was lying to her to create these kind of insecurities, issues and reasons not to create and share her stories. She said she would like to quit drinking. I asked, “How easy would it be for you to go to AA?” She started to hate me and became very child-like. She said, “I am not an alcoholic!” I said, “I know, then it will be easy for you to go to AA.” She spit venom, “To admit I am an alcoholic!” I said, “We judge what we are, since you are not an alcoholic it will be easy, right?” She said, “I am not going to AA.”

I re-framed the conversation by saying, “Hey, we are friends. If we had not known each other for so long I would not be going here. It takes too much energy. I love you and I know you are a great artist. To write your story and heal your life you are going to have to give up your addiction to alcohol, otherwise you and alcohol will conspire to shut you down. Face it, you are an alcoholic, but I haven’t given up on you. Get sober and get started writing. It will save your life. I will help you.” She heard me and I could feel her humor coming back. She said, “What can we do about my credit card debt?”

I’m sure those that know me could hear my reply, “Patience my friend, Rome wasn’t burnt in a day.”

Hi David,

You ask me in your book to let you know how I am doing, so I thought I would. I have progressed through the first part of the book, looking at the ways I am blocking love in my life, which has been enlightening.  As a recovered addict/alcoholic, much of the work runs parallel to the recovery work I have done in the 4th and 10th steps — work I have been quite diligent about.  Your book has shown me that my experience with these steps and sponsors and others in the AA program has been good, but not whole — there is some confusion in at least in how I have experienced it, around the notion of self-love: often it seems ANYTHING to do with self is shunned and shunted in the ‘character defect’ category, ready to be jettisoned.  The message of authentic self-love is there in the big book, but subtle and easily missed it seems.

Your book has shown me something new, and thrown into great relief that all of my daily issues are rooted in my lack of self-love.  And the exercises and meditations have helped tremendously.  Something extraordinary happens every time I do the meditation — usually during my daughter’s first nap; I feel a tremendous sense of well-being, something I have felt in other healing work (hypnotherapy, body-energy healing), but not as consistently.

Thank you for this gift!

“Can you help me w/ my auto-immune disorder? I am deteriorating fast. My whole body is shutting down especially on the right side. If I wasn’t getting hemo-globulin injections monthly I would not be able to use my right arm and hand.”

My first question to her was, “Were you abused as a child? Physically? Sexually??” She replied, “Both”

It started when I was nine years old as I was being abused by a stepfather. I was repeatedly abused between age nine and fourteen, most of it sexual.

For someone who has not studied this for 20 years it might seem like a leap to connect auto-immune disorders and sexual abuse. As I met this lady there were many signals that stimulated my question to her about abuse. I could have waited to hear her story, but the bigger question is how much time does this lady have? If her body is shutting down what has it been trying to tell her for a long time? She was ready to connect the dots this day and asked how can I heal this?

I said first thing you need to do is talk about it to your family. Needless to say she had held it inside all of these years telling no one. She said it sounded really strange to tell me that during this time she remembered sleeping with a kitchen knife under her pillow. I agreed and said these were the things she needed to share with family now, to clear out all the secrets. In addition to opening up to her family she needed to write about it in a journal. We worked out a routine for her including doing the breathing work every day to help her connect more deeply to her subconscious and emotions. As we get her connecting more deeply and finding more safety in her body I expect her immune system to come into balance…

Let me know if you find these questions and answers interesting and I will continue…

Love, David

This email came in recently from someone doing the exercises and the work in HEALING, she agreed to have it posted on the blog.

“I saw your post regarding the book and wanting to know where people were coming into blocks and how they could get help moving past them. I really had issues with the sexual abuse section. Although I have not ever been physically abused I realized that I have some serious pain in this area that has shaped my entire life. I know it is something that runs through my lineage and am ready to clear it for all of them but aside from getting really disoriented and angry when I read the section in your book I get nervous when it comes to letting go of it. I think it is the fear that lives in my 3rd chakra that I am ready to release. My will holds on for dear life and keeps me in a tight ball because it has lied to me all these years that if I let go it will all unravel. Now, as much as I know that’s not true is as hard as it is to let go.

I wrote out the 3 most significant life events that have shaped who I am today. Maybe this can help someone else in a similar situation (or even myself)….Ready to let go and move on!!! This was all really hard to get out — and I thank you for letting me share the old ’story’.

The first memory that comes to mind is also my first déjà vu. I have déjà vu in my life in times I have deemed as make it or break it events in which I see different outcomes but don’t have a choice of which one I take. My best friend and I were about 7 yrs old taking my dog for a walk down the street from my parent’s house. We went a few houses further than we normally do toward the main street. A brown Cadillac comes to a slow roll alongside us. The driver rolls down his window to start talking to us . . . I don’t know what he says as I stiffen up with a vision of this scene having happened at another time with a different ending – me talking a walk alone, same outfit, same cloudy day, same car but am being taken away in this car. My friend and I go about our business, neither talking about the creepy man who obviously had ill intentions while looking at two innocent young girls.

A similar scene flashes in my mind of being about 11 years old riding my bike happily up and down the neighborhood hill — something I hadn’t done in a while as I thought I was getting too old for it, so proud of myself for being able to steer my bike with no hands. At the bottom of the hill I stop and prepare for the trek back up as a car slowly rolls by.  A nice looking younger gentleman in a suit and a tie in his early 30’s calls me over and asks me directions. Honestly, I am so excited that someone older would assume that I actually know directions. I was concentrating on giving him the right directions and didn’t notice what was going on…. there he is looking at me with a big grin not saying a word or acknowledging what I telling him. I look down and realize although he is in a blazer and tie, he isn’t wearing any pants. I don’t think I have to go further with that description. I hop back on my bike in fear and race back to my house, heart racing out of my skin, on the verge of tears. A rush of relief comes past me as I see my father pulling the lawnmower out of the garage and my mom watering the plants. My saviors, the ones who would never let anything bad happen to me. Just as I pull up to stop in front of my house, the car slowly drives by, the pedophile glaring at me and then racing off at the sight of my parents.

I parked my bike in the garage and quickly ran into the house. I was safe at last. Or was I? That vision haunts me to this day. Were my bike shorts inappropriate, did they call attention to my figure? Did my new womanly curves draw too much attention? I have never told my parents that story and have vowed to myself now that I might need to just to clear the air. I keep it to myself as a center of shame. As if I called that to myself. I was in pure joy, having the most fun I had in the longest time and my childhood was interrupted. I am not sure I looked at any man in the same way after that incident. The scariest part of all to me is that man was driving the same car as the man when I was 7. I shared this story with my peers years later and my friend Jackie who lived near me had a similar experience…. same story, same car. To this day I think it was all the same man. What karma am I working out from the past? Is it better that I evaded the actual physical sexual abuse or is this just as hurtful? I am not able to wrap my head around it.

One last story that happened when I was 12 is the stepping-stone for the rest of my formative years. Every year my family went camping at the beach for a week in the summertime. This was the year of my first real bikini. I had yet to start high school, might have been going into 8th grade that upcoming year even. I was innocently standing at the shoreline when I noticed a guy across the beach. He looked older, maybe 15? Too old for me, but he was surfing so I watched. A while later he came up to talk to me. I then realized that he wasn’t 15 but likely at least 19.  We talked, he quickly asked my age and I told him – twelve – he shuddered and said oh my gosh I thought you were at least 18 from across the beach, that made me nervous as I knew at that time why he wanted to talk to me. I got very nervous and he went on his way. This may seem like an innocent interaction but it was at that point that I realized the power my overt femininity had in this life. From that young age I have garnered unwanted sexual attention from men that I didn’t ask for. It has shaped my personality, my stubborn nature, my need to protect myself from what men ‘want’ me for. Oddly enough I want them to want me for who I am as a person, my inside, my heart, my brain. But if I think they miss out on the fact that I am also a woman, beautiful, sensual and sexual — I am angry. I have walked this wobbly line for all of my adult life. How do I allow my true self to shine through – not be fogged over by the ‘beauty’ of what I look like and not hidden in the box of my intellect?

These 3 stories mark the dust bunny of my sexual abuse story. They formed in my adolescence and have naturally collected more and more dust until I am who others see me as today. I am ready to clear all of this energy, dust, and karma and live the life I intend. The only question is how do I hold space for myself to clear this on my own, without reliving the experience as I try to let go of it? What is the lesson I needed to learn from all of this?”